RKCL and good times past
A very pleasant Sunday morning to you dear reader, as it is one of the nicest Sundays I can recall, it s slightly breezy in my room but the sun and clear skies look promising...a day for an adventure I think.
The purpose of this most recent post is to inform you that despite my age I don't feel as if I am yet and adult and that i haven't grown as so many people around me have. As an example; i was having brunch with a dear long time friend of mine on Friday and we were discussing a once mutual friend of ours, he and i lost contact somewhere along the road, she mentioned that this lovely individual was now working for a large and well paying business which was allowing him to move to England to live. She said when she saw him he was in a suit and they only spoke of things which we of a more mature manner and to this i could not believe. When two friends of mine, this is going back almost nine years, and i myself first spotted this lanky teenage boy we cheekily christened him Red Knob Chicken Legs simply because his hair was spiked and some awful kind of packet dye red and his legs were extremely thin and pasty. It was a surreal moment to know that the boy who will forever be referred to as Red (for short) had come such a long way in life and had well and truly progressed into a successful adult.
Having heard this storey over brunch it got me thinking about all the good times that i have had and how far have come from them. three years ago I was going out every week, rarely home, i would go and drink with mates hit the same club, see the same people and enjoyed every single moment. there was a comfort in knowing what was install for an evening and that i would almost be assured a good time.
Times how they have changed, i now have a full time job, which in itself is a large responsibility, in a few short months i will be twenty-one which will mean i can no longer call myself a teenager though i am most certain to let my hair down and act like one all the same. Things are just so extremely different from when i left high school and although i look forward to what is install for me in the future i feel a little sad leaving such a carefree life behind but am happy to report I have plenty of good time memories to reflect on and many more to make.
A rant of sorts
Tell me why it is I am faced with the same question each monday to friday morning, what to wear to wear what to wear? Why my alarm reminds me I have another painful day of leaving my brain at home to pick up the slack of a man with bad hair and a guy who told one of the most gorgeous looking women who had an unfortunate spray tan accident that she looked like a roast chicken? God I hate hate peopleWhy is it that the world celebrates and adores those with grand titles and no brains and those with are stuck in no brainer jobs doing the real work trying to do the right thing whilst putting up with idiots.Being denied something that you so clearly deserve because it does not come as a convenience of some people who have been blessed with what I like to call princess syndrome. Then this person uses it to their advantage and you struggle to come to terms with it as they cruise on through life not ever knowing what a bad day actualy means. What is worse though is actually feeling SORRY for such an individul and hating yourself for saying such nasty things. Celebrating something that you do not believe in only to out that it was better to hate it then embrace it because you were more disappointed then expected.Bitch whine and moan about lifes problems when you have got support nto a text message away and dont seem to do anything about it.Reassurance that there is good in life and good people so putting all these irrational thoughts out of your head and listening to some highly recommeneded cool tunes to frorget your trouble and reach your ultimate three plan goal...getting out.
My low when a voice is so high
This is where I hit my ultimate low
Cause I can’t break away and move on.
I try time and time again and whilst my temporary rants and bitching suffices when I’m not low its now when I feel vulnerable.
When I am alone
When I miss you
Everything is almost on track except you, me and this
Years of being tough have made me weak
Emotionally, I hate it
This is what I call a CD moment
All the right words and meanings to drown out all I want to say
Realistic resolutions
Ladies and gents a very happy new year to you all, I was fortunate enough to spend new years with people I really love and care about there were a couple of absent faces (you know who you are) but it was truly awesome.
On the last night of 2007, between drinks, being jumped on top of and wishing passers by a very happy new year in a loud fashion, I got to thinking about new years resolutions and I came up with one that makes me truly happy and that I think that I will most defiantly stick to. My New Year resolution is to avoid wankers and people of a stupid nature and embrace and hold tightly onto the people who I hold dear. This resolution I thought was simple yet affective and something I know I am going to stick to as opposed to so many failed ones before this.
So a very belated Merry Christmas (even if your still waiting for yours) and a happy New Years to one and all and hopefully the new year brings you what you want.
Realising the goodness in family dysfunction
One of the things most people find a little scary is your first round and meeting someone’s family wether it be a partner or a friend you get a little nervous and curious as to what someone’s family is like considering that persons views/traditions/beliefs all that kind of jazz that helps to create and shape a persons personality and behaviour. For most people family is very important and so you want to be accpeted and sometimes when your not it can feel like a witch hunt!
Being on the other end and having someone meet your family can be just as painful I think. I know that when people meet my family everyone loves my dad and thinks he is crazy in a humorous way and I just shake my head at him for being a pain in the butt and my little sister, despite how lovely she really is, gives off the first impression of a freak, lets not even get started about my older sister who has the natural face of having a greasy or staring!
For most of the time it is a pleasant experience because most families, despite how much hype a person can say in fits of anger or being upset by family members, are generally pretty alright people. Meeting someone’s family also makes your realise that your own isn’t as demented and weird as you initially thought before you met other peoples families, and sometimes through other peoples dysfunctional family you see where they may get their kookiness from and it gives you that warm fuzziness inside cause its silly fun behaviour that clearly in the inherited.
Recently I was introduced to a family in an official manner for the first time and let me tell you scared as all hell because I wanted to make the best first impression I possibly could, let me tell you something that was one of the most disastrous experiences of my life! Everything that could have possibly gone wrong did! Second time around meeting this family was really lovely because everything went a lot smoother and I got to see them in neutral states, where they are most comfortable and I must say they are some of the nicest people I have ever met and made me feel so warm and welcomed it felt awesome.
So what I want to know is what you have found meeting families for the first time and how much or little it has impacted you.
Sounds like...
A blogging friend of mine explained all that he’d experienced, of late, through song, it was awesome. So in attempt to be creative at work (not often that I get to do this) here is what is going through my mind in my head today......
Fire starter: Prodigy
The beautiful people: Marilyn Manson
Mad world: Gary Jules
Rehab: Amy Winehouse
I will not go quietly: The Whitlams
Don’t stop: Fleetwood Mac
Resolve: Foo Fighters
Busy having a good time: Grinspoon
Best Friend: Queen
Friday Night: The Darkness
Fly me to the moon: Frank Sinatra
These words are my own: Natasha Bedingfield
What’s your falva: Craig David
Sweaty: Muscles
No consolation prizes: Pheonix
Technologic: Daft Punk
What does your day sound like as a soundtrack I wonder?
Black sheep of the 'family'
Former Eagles player lost his life,
Ben Cousins was behind it.
Leave him alone,
He’ll get his own
Eleven year olds will be just like him.
Ladies and gents this clever little diddy was thought up by yours truly to the tune of Little Bow Peep (which has made me very aware of how I spend the better part of my time).
Ladies and gents I am royally peeved about certain issues surrounding Ben Cousins, the first about how someone such as himself will be seen as being an addict and not just some cocky football player. The second is how people who bust their chops get nothing in return. These issues are interrelated because Mr Cousins is living proof that people who do the wrong thing suffer only slightly whilst people who do the right thing suffer far greater.
Ben Cousins is not a drug addict, you know how I? If you have ever watched a game of footy you’d know that it’s a competitive sport, not only that but how of those footballers would you say aren’t fit? A true addiction is defined, on Dictionary.com, as;
devoted or given up to a practice or habit or to something psychologically or physically habit-forming (usually fol. by to): to be addicted to drugs.
-How could a footballer possibly be in a state where they are constantly messed up on drugs, they couldn’t! They couldn’t cause it would interfere with their training and performance, an addict can only go so long without a score of something no matter what it is, I should know I have seen it. All Mr Cousins is addicted to is recreational use of drugs, living the life of a celebrity. They would not have released him from rehab if he weren’t ‘cured’ from his addiction would they, this makes Ben good at two things, being a footballer and a good actor, perhaps they’ll give him a role on Home and Away since football doesn’t want him anymore.
Whilst Mr Cousins will continue to be treated as the ‘addict’ who just couldn’t help himself and not for the idiot he is, people with actual problem are being jerked around. For those of you who know nurses have gone on strike to get their wages raised and I say why the hell not? They are some of the hardest working people you will ever know, they save lives and break their backs, but what’s splashed on the front page of the paper instead of hard workers? BEN COUSINS!
Don’t worry, I have a way to fix it, the nurses should appeal to the AFL since they will have to be the ones to looks after Mr Cousins when he OD’s or tries to kill himself from the inevitable ‘depression’ he shall get from not being able to do what he loves anymore. If the AFL can pay to have Mr Cousins rehabilitated then a nurses measly 6% wage increase seems more then just to me.
Music makes the world seem less fishy
Ladies and gents this blog is going to cover going to cover a few emotions or thoughts but it is all in relation to one issue I assure you.
Arguing, I try and avoid it as often as possible but I am heated or passionate about the issue at hand watch out. I will be ruthless and if provoked I will lose my mind and say things that I don’t know nescarily mean, people who don’t know this about me don’t know me well enough. A fight and a debate is essential from time to time and I do mean it when I say essential, I come from a migrated Italian family it is part of my life, its how we sort things out, well that’s how I view it anyway.
Talking to yourself or a friend or all of your friends helps with the problem at hand, after all that’s what friends are for right, to patiently listen to all that you have to say and then making light of the situation But if there is one thing I have learned from all my relationships I have been in and around with friends, under no circumstance are you to mouth off to the third person in a relationship, it will only get you into trouble that you shall ultimately regret.
Hypocrisy is a funny thing for two reason, the first being its just a funny word to say really I like to think of it as a broken down word smushed together hip-roc-arcy the second thing being that we will all fall into itsclutches many a time through out our lives. Hypocrisy comes to my attention of late because I had a rather……unpleasant and unnecessary argument with someone and in this persons argument they made a claim and should be feeling terribly silly because they have now rebutted their own argument in a very public manner –embarrassing much?
“Violence is not the way, peace is the only way” –is a quote I remember from the Fat Pizza movie and applies to my ranting blog, I remember it because you cannot beat yourself up about things that are not in your control, so peace I shall have. Peace is not really the correct term, but seeing as I have nothing nice to say I wont say anything at all and things shall remain as they are…perhaps the word is transition phase limbo is a better word still, but at least I know where I stand and what value is in this world to the people that matter the most to me.
True storey, it happened to a blogging friend of YOURS!
This was an argument that took place between an old friend of mine via msn. I'm the purple text, he is the blue. If you ever thought that only didnt have balls you were very wrong! Enjoy
sorry about that, hello?Ey, did u get wat i said b4
no i didn't, what did it say?
its was jst me realizin that ur b'day had gone
yeah that did happen, thanks
sry
about?
everythin
everything?
yea dw
i dont know if you know, but i tried to call you last week
yes i saw ur missed call
no credit?
nah nah
oh okay then.....
jst the whole gf thingy
you cant answer your phoen to say hello and see if im still alive?
which is wat i was sry about earlier
still?
Stil
after all this time has passed and i havent spoken to you shes still paranoid?
more than eva. u dont understand how many times we've fought about you
thast awful, i feel sorry for you. me? i havent spoken to you in months, and the only reason i called was to try and make ammends of our hanging relationship
i kno, i hav nothin against it . she jst doesnt like our history
our history when we were what 15? that 5 years ago literally. thats really pathetic
i kno, thats exactly wat i say. i want 2 talk 2 u
so i have been sitting here thinking that you havent wanted to get back in contact with me and you havent cause your girlfriend doesnt trust you?
pretty much
so i guess im not invited to the wedding? she was engagaed and cheatedon the guy she was with for you and shes the one thats parranoid?
wedding? if all goes well that aint happenin for at least another 2-3 years. he was doin the dirty long b4 she met me. well the main reason y shes paranoid is cause...apparently when i first started talkin to her n told her about u i said "that u were prolly a girl i could get serious with" . since she heard that, shes found u as a threat
for us to get serious one of us would have ti move, we'd both have to still be into one another. a threat?. your madly in love with HER how am I a threate?
cause when i say ur name, those things i said earlier go through her head
well seeing as you dont talk to me,......EVER how is my name being mentioned?
cause that day i found ur missed call, i told her u tried ringin. then all hell broke lose. blah blah blah...almost broke up...blah blah blah
i'll call you when shes in the room, on loudspeaker for fuck sake. she threatened to break up with you cause someone who has been theer for you at your lowest points, who help0ed you get through tough shit, called you?
yea, i even said that. seriously
thats mental
she said its either me or her
seriosuly and you not calling me back is even worse. ?!what shes fucking out of her mind, i only called to say hello....thats fucked up
i dno i love her 2 dam much 2 jst walk away i cant imagine doin it. theres no way...
i dont send you flirtacious messages, i dont call you at all, she doesnt trust you
u obviously cant see wat kind of a situation im in
what? your gf being a paranoid bitch? for NO reason take a look at things from my side, i had to give up speaking to someoen who used ot mean the world to me cause his gf is scraed something is going to happene between us from a DIFFERENTstate! if she dumped you cause of me, then she aint worth having around
...i dno
then get some knowledge, do you beiliev she is the only person you can feel these emotions with? cause your wrong, someone who you are meant to be with respects you for who you are as an indivdual. you know your in a good realtionship when it can feel like your always your own person with someone
i aim totally myself around her...
without someone who you used to call your best mate?
thats the only fukd up thing-Things ended here before I lost my mind completely and got so angry msn style and typed *insert dramtic music* in CAPITALS!!!!!!
Birthday goodness
Hello ladies and gents I just wanted to say that I had one of the best birthdays I have ever had. Not only did I have an awesome birthday but I am finally over being nineteen, what a shit age, now I can get into a better frame of mind, I know that soundds weird but I can so big thumbs way up.
Its also a monumentos occasion for me because I started this blog when I was seventeen and if you have ever read my early sutff you I believe you can see the change, not in a bad way but a good one.
Also I wanted to thank all my family and friends too, yes I have some, for making my birthday another awesome one. I dont ever get to say thank you as much as I'd like to and being in such a good mood I thought I'd take advantage of the situation. No thanks however to Dave who actively tried to kill me with the drink though, no I'm kidding he is a good egg. Much love for all friends and especially to Wayne who made my birthday very special earlier then the actual day.
Operation Kill Bus. Support.
Ladies and gents for the past six months I have been bringing home the bacon by becoming a slave to a multi-billion dollar company which has made me realise two things which will perhaps determine the rest of my life; the first, a nine to five job is so not for me, who wants to be doing the same thing day in and day out without working the old noggin?
The second thing I have realised is that certain individuals in bus. Support should die in the ass, if you think that's bad you should have heard me on Tuesday night when I discovered my co-workers royally screwed me over because they are power hungry losers who believe that their work title and status will ultimately make them a more important human being then myself or anyone around them.
After being royally pissed off for a few days I calmed down when I noticed how great the nursing staff and doctors caring for my nonna were yesterday. Not only did I realise their amazing work but I also acknowledged how important their roles in life and society were compared to those certain individuals who brought upon Operation Kill Bus. Support.
All this got me to thinking about what I would ultimately like to do with myself to earn crust, sure I could try being a singer but unlike some of the deludoids on Aussie idol I know I can't sing. The only reason why I took on this role of nine to five in the first place was not to be unemployed and have no money, once I started making the money I decided on a goal for it, look out Europe in ten months I'll be there.
I want to see as much of the world as I can before I make any irrational decisions about my life without knowing what's out there. I want to give back to people, go to uni and learn something after my worldly travels but for now I am stuck between a rock and figuring out a way of commencing Operation Kill Bus. Support.
Butterflies and all
As my friends ad myself get older I have started to realise that the more we date the less and less you meet someone totally amazing who gives you the butterflies in your stomach when you see them, makes you feel light hearted and silly and someone who calls you all those silly little names that make you feel like your young again and this is your first true crush.
Dating has made me forget all about the butterflies and make me realise the feeling of eating the same mediocre dish, you know what to expect, nothing special, and boring but nescary in order to survive, I say nescary cause no one wants to be alone, dating is even compulsory to find someone who will ultimately be a companion if nothing else.
Rediscovering the butterflies was by pure accident for me and the sad thing is I wasn't even the one with the butterflies. All I had to do was turn to someone who is an exceedingly important part of my existence and see their reaction to a message and a phone call and it made me so deliriously happy that I actually started to believe that maybe I've been to harsh a critique on some of the dishes I've reviewed.
No matter how dry and tasteless my next meal seems I am reassured by the same group of optimists that there is indeed a hearty meal to be had if I am patient. There are, supposedly, "…heaps of great single people out there." –whenever I here this I want to be shown one as living proof and not a delirious hope that I may have to settle. I'm getting totally off track here though.
Butterflies, that's what I want, I don't want someone to sweep me off my feet and make me live happily ever after, I just want to meet a nice individual who can give me those warm feelings I used to get when I really liked a descent person, you know you think about them and what they are doing. The 'grown up' version of butterflies is love apparently and I have been there done that but honest to god, I'd rather have a positive experience of butterflies with someone awesome and have it leave me then getting my heart broken, yeah it sounds sappy and romantic and what not but its true.
So everyone who has gotten the butterflies lately should tell me all about it, because I'm starting to think that the butterflies, like youth, eventually leave you.
"Unfair" trial for Mokbel
Ladies and gents I was shocked and stunned when I heard that Tony Mokbel, fallen drug lord and wanted criminal, is protesting in his return to Australia under the belief that he will not be given a 'fair' trial, I say good! Mokbel, like so many others before him, knew what he was doing and is only speaking of things which are 'fair' because is freedom is on the line.
Would any member of a court or justice system seriously take this desperate mans plea into consideration? After the amount of re-offenders that have slipped through justices’ hands would Mokbel be exempt from sleeping in the bed that he has made?
If Mokbel is returned to Australia I believe that he should have the book thrown at him for all twenty and many unknown, offences. Why should he be spared? The charges against Mokbel are not ones to be taken lightly. They are serious criminal charges that are morally damaging and yet he may possibly be shown, undeserved, mercy.
Whilst on the subject, when will the 'justice' system be fixed? How many times do we have to read that a paedophile was giving only two years imprisonment, drink drivers are allowed back on the road and drug dealers seem to 'disappear' behind the millions of dollars that they earn and the millions of lives they potentially endanger. Have we changed our morals entirely that we see this kind of behaviour and do nothing due to cowardice?
Friendship throw away
Have you ever had to do something truly embarrassing that wasn’t funny but shameful, the kind of thing that makes you wish you could burry your head in the sand? Well after what turned out to be a pleasant weekend after a little silliness on my behalf I had to do something truly terrible, a terrible phone call was made to be exact. There’s nothing like a phone asking someone if they know anything about illegal substance abuse coming from someone close to you. This was all done under force mind you, it was either comply or suffer what would be months of emotional torture and the constant reminder that I was protecting someone who was doing the wrong thing.
Post phone call I enquired why I had to do such a thing and it was revealed that the person who had previously abused the drug was responsible for accepting money in exchange for something that had been ‘just sitting there’ in a draw which was uncovered and thus phone calls were made.
The thing that really got to me was that the person responsible for selling the stuff and whose room had been cleaned and accidentally found the drug had a ‘near death’ experience prior to all this because of the very same thing that was found. Now let me say that this is an intelligent person whom has done great things with themselves however not intelligent enough to realise that when a person has an experience as they did to gather whatever was left and to flush it down the toilet. Its value was supposedly only fifty dollars, now this person earns a wage descent enough not to be so desperate enough to sell off something that may possibly kill someone but did it anyway and not to some stranger mind you but to a close friend.
Still none of these things is what really gets under my skin, it’s the fact that this person swore to me, someone they could confide in who has seen them through hard times who would have been willing to take a drug test for them in order to spear the people around them heartache and hardships, that they would never touch drugs again. The conditions were that if they did they would no longer have my friendship and as of yesterday they don’t. I was lied to to save me from disappointment…because you have been a saint all your life certain someone and this would have been the worst thing NOT!
Fortunately, for the person who this all happened to, the people involved have shown them mercy and have not made them give up their residency with them after learning that the person responsible has a two grand debt and 1200 belongs to your truly. I only gave this person money because they told me that due to certain expenses that they’d have a little financial struggle so I did it willingly I like to help people if I can. The individual then purchased some gadgets such as a tv/dvd/cd player and took a weekend long trip with friends and stayed in a nice hotel…what did they need the money for then? Rego apparently but wouldn’t you wait to be debt free and have put some money aside for something you knew was coming up?
Anyway that’s my rant about the crappiness of certain individuals and the extra stress that I really could have done without.
Mums are like ninjas
Have you ever been doing something quietly and you know concentrating and then have the the biggest fright when a mum (doesn't have to be yours, any mum will do) has just popped up out of nowhere and started talking to you? Mum's, I have decided, are like ninjas they move unseen and unheard unless they want to inform you of their presence. This has been a frequent ever since i started my new job, I am very fortunate to have a mum working with me and she does that she sits right behind me too so you think I'd be aware but no!
Right now i am sitting at my desk at work doing some over time (mmm....extra money) and thinking about what i want to do with the rest of my life and truth be told i have no idea. if you had asked me this last year or even the previous year i would have been able to tell you my entire life story down to where i wanted to live! well maybe not that much detail but you know pretty close.
What i do know, despite my uncertainty about the rest of my life, is that i want to travel and see the world...see the bigger picture dammit! the reason about this latest blog is that my little sister is in the final stages of her VCE, a terrible time for all of those who have ever experienced it. and she is seems so set on getting in the field of counseling or something of that line of work and the thing is i know it is not going to be easy. its hard work and all the people i know who are still attending uni are constantly struggling with it and more often then not tell me they hate it...except for three people i can think of off the top of my head (big hello's to jen, isi and bert!)
That's one of the horrible things about school, being pressured into picking something to do..like if you don't know what to you want to do and decide to 'go with the flow' then you will inevitably fall off the face of the earth or become another poor individual waiting in center link (its an ugly path people for your own sakes steer clear). people who don't know what they want to do are forced to pick something and 95% of the time they hate it and for all of you who knew what you wanted to do I'd like you to take note of my friend Jess who was studying psychology and is now an apprentice florist and loves it more then she did school!
I'm here at my desk not entirely being thrilled with my job but i can say that if you don't get into what you want to or you think you have taken the wrong 'path', no matter how old you are, don't sweat it, there is ALWAYS time to learn new things and do something different, you don't have to be stuck in a job or a course that you hate
Some people are S.O.B's
Three weeks ago I got a message from someone who I was very close to in high-school but since then we have led different lives and they got a partner and decided that they didn’t need their friends anymore; for the purpose of confidentiality I shall call them SW (sympathy whore). So three weeks ago, after almost two years of communication, I got a message from SW saying,
“I need you to do me a favour; I have become really depressed lately and I slit my wrist. I know I haven’t been the best friend to you lately but would you attend my birthday dinner I need friends in my life right now.” –I have never been a person to turn down someone who was close to me and especially not someone who needed my help so naturally I agreed. I didn’t know how to react when I got that message and I believe that when people want to talk about it they will come to you, so I said if ever you need me call or message or even rock up and my home and I shall do what I can.
A few days had passed and I had heard nothing, but I know SW had been in touch with a mutual friend of ours which gave me comfort. Our mutual friend had told me that she was constantly messaging and calling her partner and that is perhaps why her phone bill was so high, because I know for a fact that she hadn’t been in touch with any of her friends. As the time got closer to her birthday date I decided to message SW and ash when it was going to be and check on SW’s well being. I got a response saying;
“I have cancelled it and I really can’t message you because I have a 600 dollar phone bill.” – I assumed if I was needed SW would find other means of contact.
Last night I get a call from a friend who asked if I wanted to go out and I couldn’t be bothered leaving my home truth be told so they said they’d swing past and pick up some CD’s SW was in the car didn’t even come out and say hello, didn’t message me since the party cancellation now she was smiling and laughing with NOTHING on the wrist. I got mad, I dialled our mutual friend who said I should have torn into SW for putting that sense when is my old friend going to kill themselves, so I did. My message consisted general abuse about how cruel it was to do that to a person, put the guilt of them harming themselves when you know you could have tried to be a better friend, (even though it was basically a one ended deal). I of course got a message back saying that SW had tried many times to contact me at home and say hello to my parents when they saw SW at work. Well SW I have something to tell you, your lies are so busted!
Anyone who has ever called my home knows that the phone hardly ever goes unanswered and if it does go unanswered my mobile is almost always on I don’t remember the last time I turned the thing off. SW my parents have been to your place of work in about five months because a chain of the place you work in has opened in a new location almost literally around the corner of my home…the term I am looking for is LIAR!
My final message to SW was this;
“You can say whatever you want but I know what the truth is and the next time you think you need to talk call the 600dollar person” -I was pretty pleased with that, the thing that sucks is that if anything ever happened to SW it would send me into eternal guilt, but I tried to do the right thing and got jerked around and I have had my fill of jerks.
Im Grateful
Okay ladies and gents, its precisely 5am and I've just come home from a glorious day filled with, footy with friends, seeing my little sister after she was away from home for three days and then out partying with some wonderful ladies and you know what, I happy as a person could be and I am grateful.
You heard me, I am grateful for everything I have in life, wonderful family who at times drive me nuts and I yell with each and every one of them I adore, my fatties who mean more to me then any other people in this world who are like my family and I don't think I could live without. My fantastic friends and acquaintances, and although sometimes I don't keep in touch and I am lazy I cherish when we do hang out, even if it's a quick call or a full blown gossip session.
For the opportunity to live in a country where I am not restricted by rules and laws which are discriminating. To be able to speak my mind to the whole world (even if it's only bloggingly big), and to live in a society so rich with culture that it's regarded on an international scale.
I am grateful for all these things and more, this al came about when I though of how self obsessed people can become when we only look at the 'bad' things in life or the things we don't have. I am grateful because I have all this and more and very few people can say that they do.
So take a minute to be grateful of all the shit you do have because lets face it people life is to short.
Toodles and goodnight
I dont speak boy!
Well ladies and gents yours truly has just come back from a date and I am confused as all hell!
Okay so for the purpose of privacy we shall call my date Mr. Date just so it’s easier to follow. Anyway let me begin the storey:
It happened on a Saturday night when I was out with the ladies having an awesome time and I got perhaps the most drunk I have been since my birthday (for those of you who where not there to witness my drunk rampage on my birthday let me put it to you this way it was the most drunk I have ever been in my whole life), so I met this guy and we danced and flirted and I gave him my number, next day I get a message one things leads to another and he asks me out and after a few days of thinking abut it I agreed.
Today after work I went and met him all was fine we went to grab a bite to eat a nice place he chose (nice choice on his behalf) and things were going well, you know we were but a little nervous but that’s to be expected.
So after we had both done eating he drops this line on me "if I leave now I can make it to work on time." -now he didn’t mention to me once that he had work so I thought it was his way of getting out of what he thought was a bad date.
I thought to myself okay this is not going the way I had thought it was, but then he grabbed my hand to hold it, which was nice so I thought yeah maybe he does have work, then we walked to the train station and he said
"...so I will call you, sometime?"
"Yeah defiantly" -I responded. Then he leant in and kissed me.
Now I know the ending is good but why didn’t he tell me he had work? Is this the male way of putting a girl down easily? Did he really have work and if so why didn’t he tell me OR above all am I reading too much into things?
Cheaters and cheating
Okay ladies and gents today I want to talk to you about cheating, the people who cheat and why they do so, now before you kick up a fuss you got to keep an open mind and read all the way and then let it rip.
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship I guarantee that you have cheated at least once and just because you have never physically done something about it doesn't mean you haven't spent your evening thinking about someone else and what they are doing, see there you go.
People shouldn't be so quick and harsh to judge a person who cheats you have got to find out why they would do so, if its just because they can then yes it makes them a horrible person and if they do have a reason it doesn't make it right but its not necessarily because their partner is not satisfying them physically and or emotionally. There are many reasons why a person would cheat and I'm going to discuss some of them with you now.
Rebound relationships, we all know what they are and sometimes we end a relationship and are afraid of being alone that we rush into another one not thinking clearly and realising we want to be with our old partner but don't want to hurt anyone in the process. You build up the courage to tell our current partner but when it comes down to it its got a lot to do with not having the heart to tell them, this is not crap by the way its hard to tell someone something that's going to hurt them. People who cheat aren't all scum bags, so you got to think about it that way.
Cheating in order to make people realise what's in front of them, in some relationships one person can sometimes get neglected and not feel the love their anymore so they decide to cheat and purposely get caught to make their partner realise what they have. Sure you could always talk about it but sometimes there are things you just can't talk about it, you can't talk your way into intimacy it's a physical thing. There is always the possibility of threatening to leave but who wants to leave someone your still in love with and you have poured your heart and soul into?
Insecurity, laugh now but you will get me in a minute, some people are scared of losing their partner because they don't feel that they are 'worthy' of them and in order to punish themselves and make it true they go and cheat. It sounds weird but it happens.
Finding the right person for you, just because your in a relationship doesn't mean your going to be with that person forever especially when you have been with someone so long and they change or you change and you meet an individual who totally blows your mind and you can't control yourself.
What I meant when I said you cannot control yourself doesn't come down to hormones in most cases it's the kiss or sleeping with someone that's the deal breaker, but if your in a relationship and you are thinking about and craving someone else and keeping it a secret then that's just as bad. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who's head over heals with another person just because they never acted physically? Many people engage in open relationships to have meaningless sex with other people and some choose even to go to professionals to have emotion free sex, isn't that better then someone who's only using you as a piece of ass that you have spent actual time investing in a relationship with?
My point is cheating is not always black and white and if cheaters are sch scum then why do most people take them back? So try keep an open mind but if you get hurt you can be angry and do what you please. And people please don't think your partner can continually cheat and come up with excuses. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
I just want to be skinny
If you’re a young woman about to hit twenty-one there are a few things you want, the killer dress with amazing shoes and accessories, birthday memories that will last throughout your life, the very cute date to show off and adore, the best time you’ve ever had whilst losing about ten kilo’s from your wonderfully curvaceous body in order to be ‘skinny’….can you pick the odd thing out?
This evening I entered this conversation, with someone I hold dear to me, about how there is nothing more important then looking like a celeb even if it means putting your health at risk to her. May I just state for the record many people who meet this wonderful individual are jealous of her, she’s fun, flirtatious, intelligent, free spirit with a gorgeous look to match, why the hell would she want to change it you ask? Because she is genuinely insecure when she leaves her work gear at home and heads out on the town for a good night out, all she can see around her are ‘skinny’ women. I have to admit that Melbourne is full of gorgeous people who are seemingly perfect but we all have our faults and insecurities people, we’re not made of stone and something like eighty-five percent of us are not vain/self absorbed or think we’re sexy or hot. The thing that really screwed up my mind is that this woman is without a doubt always being checked out and could have many a man if only she had a little more self confidence.
Not everyone is meant to have that slender look because for most of the population we are stuck with curves and bumps and unless you want to go to surgery you cannot change your bone structure or where your body wants to put its storage. Being ‘skinny’ is like the new black apparently but truth be told it is an unhealthy trend, for those of you who have the structure and the small figure I say good luck to you but for those who don’t have the structure and a perfectly proportioned and healthy why would you want to jeopardise your body with something addictive that will cut down your life span in order to make you look sickly?
While I’m here I have a bone to pick with the media yes you, you know who you are magazines with your flashy titles sold to every teen/bored house wife saying which celebs are ‘fat’ and which have become ‘anorexic’, hows about you stop pointing the finger and leave them be! The pressure of being a celebrity in this day and age would suck because it’s not your talent that gets judge its every minute detail what your wearing, who your sleeping with, I mean lighten up! They are people to you know they have insecurities and emotions so when you start calling them ‘fat’ they are going to do what every other emotionally hurt person would try what anyone insecure about their weight would do until they develop an eating disorder and then try to have to reverse the whole thing. Yes I admit that being a celebrity would mean having to deal with the media but who wants to hear about how Britney is ‘letting herself go’ when the woman hasn’t sang or acted for something like four years!
Embrace what you have I what I’m trying to get at and if you want to shed some poundage do it the old fashioned way, diet and exercise and if that still isn’t getting you where you want then stop reaching for those Doritos and chocolate and see what you can do apart from binging when things don’t go your way and if symptoms continue please go see your doctor.
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A very pleasant Sunday morning to you dear reader, as it is one of the nicest Sundays I can recall, it s slightly breezy in my room but the sun and clear skies look promising...a day for an adventure I think.
