Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Cheaters and cheating

Okay ladies and gents today I want to talk to you about cheating, the people who cheat and why they do so, now before you kick up a fuss you got to keep an open mind and read all the way and then let it rip.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship I guarantee that you have cheated at least once and just because you have never physically done something about it doesn't mean you haven't spent your evening thinking about someone else and what they are doing, see there you go.

People shouldn't be so quick and harsh to judge a person who cheats you have got to find out why they would do so, if its just because they can then yes it makes them a horrible person and if they do have a reason it doesn't make it right but its not necessarily because their partner is not satisfying them physically and or emotionally. There are many reasons why a person would cheat and I'm going to discuss some of them with you now.

Rebound relationships, we all know what they are and sometimes we end a relationship and are afraid of being alone that we rush into another one not thinking clearly and realising we want to be with our old partner but don't want to hurt anyone in the process. You build up the courage to tell our current partner but when it comes down to it its got a lot to do with not having the heart to tell them, this is not crap by the way its hard to tell someone something that's going to hurt them. People who cheat aren't all scum bags, so you got to think about it that way.

Cheating in order to make people realise what's in front of them, in some relationships one person can sometimes get neglected and not feel the love their anymore so they decide to cheat and purposely get caught to make their partner realise what they have. Sure you could always talk about it but sometimes there are things you just can't talk about it, you can't talk your way into intimacy it's a physical thing. There is always the possibility of threatening to leave but who wants to leave someone your still in love with and you have poured your heart and soul into?

Insecurity, laugh now but you will get me in a minute, some people are scared of losing their partner because they don't feel that they are 'worthy' of them and in order to punish themselves and make it true they go and cheat. It sounds weird but it happens.

Finding the right person for you, just because your in a relationship doesn't mean your going to be with that person forever especially when you have been with someone so long and they change or you change and you meet an individual who totally blows your mind and you can't control yourself.

What I meant when I said you cannot control yourself doesn't come down to hormones in most cases it's the kiss or sleeping with someone that's the deal breaker, but if your in a relationship and you are thinking about and craving someone else and keeping it a secret then that's just as bad. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who's head over heals with another person just because they never acted physically? Many people engage in open relationships to have meaningless sex with other people and some choose even to go to professionals to have emotion free sex, isn't that better then someone who's only using you as a piece of ass that you have spent actual time investing in a relationship with?

My point is cheating is not always black and white and if cheaters are sch scum then why do most people take them back? So try keep an open mind but if you get hurt you can be angry and do what you please. And people please don't think your partner can continually cheat and come up with excuses. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.


At 8:36 pm, February 13, 2007, Anonymous Drew said...

thats unreal babe. i have been cheated on and its the worst most possibe feeling..once cheated I get rid of that person out of my life.they are scum and If they loved e they wouldnt do it..I forgive them, but i dont forget their face and name..
Drew xooxoxo

At 8:37 pm, February 13, 2007, Anonymous Bec said...

Hmm interesting philosphy.

Well I always say that I give people the benafit of the doubt. So no matter what someone has done in their life I will always give them another chance, noone is perfect. I've been cheated on b4 by an ex boyfriend with 1 of my friends. I forgave him, and he did it again behind me back constantly until we broke up (i was young and nieve). So yeah that's scarred me for life. It still hurts when I think back to it. So I think cheating is wrong, if you are wanting things from another person don't be selfish and stay in a relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too, it's not the way things go :)

At 8:44 pm, February 13, 2007, Anonymous Cass said...

I have to agree with Drew and Bec... If you make a committment to someone, then under no circumstances, or any given reason, is it okay to cheat on the person you have committed to.

At 9:01 pm, February 13, 2007, Anonymous aYmaN said...

i think if the your partner is ignoring you then its ok to see other people because its the only way that they would realize how it would feel like if they loose u.

At 1:38 am, February 14, 2007, Blogger SexyNinjaMonkey said...

I've been cheated on... One of the worst feelings ever, hell i got really depressed by it. Of course it has made it difficult for me to trust women, so i actually stopped dating a while ago. No intentions of getting back into it unless i meet a girl who proves i can trust her.
Now if your cheating because you want someone to realise what they have... then you should be shot. It doesn't work it just makes them hate you as a person (they may still love you, but they will not be able to respect you again).
And if your just doing it because you want to see what else is available... What the hell is wrong with you... break up with your current before you start going elsewhere, otherwise it makes them feel like shit and you look like a complete arse.
Open relationships are one of the worst ideas, unless you really don't care about your partner and just want to f*ck as many people as you can in your lifetime. My ex actually wanted to have one... I refused, so she cheated (not just sleeping around but actually going on dates with other guys, yes i went out with my female friends, but she knew them and i'd tell her if i was planning to go out with them... Plus i didn't sleep with them). Then after breaking up with me (not till after i caught her out) she slept with every guy she met... then complained to me when she wound up with stalkers.
As you can see, i'm strongly against cheating in any form. I don't see any good excuse for doing it. If you want to sleep with someone else, break up with your partner first, don't make them suffer.

At 5:54 am, February 14, 2007, Anonymous Man and the CIty said...

Hey spicey,

Well I definately understand your points of view, but i have to disagree. Acting on it with someone else is always unforgivable, so they dont feel loved enough? They dont feel worthy? Its all irrelavent, the only thing that matters is this - you do not have to be in a relationship, its a choice, if your not willing to do whatever it takes to make it work then dont be in it. If you want someone else then dont be in it. If you cant talk to them then dont be in it. If you feel unloved then dont be in it. Personally i would never cheat under any circumstance and i would never forgive a cheater under any circumstance

At 1:53 pm, February 14, 2007, Anonymous Bettina said...

I agree with your reasoning...I can imagine under those circumstances it'd be hard on them as well as their partner. But either way - it's gotta suck for their partner!

At 2:32 pm, February 14, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What excuse can one really give that justifies betraying your partner? If someone cared about their significant other as much as you could care about the molars in your teeth (at least), they should give you the decency of ending a relationship that isn't working before pursuing another one, even if that 'relationship' IS just a good time fuck. People take back cheaters because they care about them and it's much easier to be in a relationship (happily or unhappily) than to be alone, for most people. Some call it laziness, some call it weakness of will, whatever. If you take back a cheater, you're an idiot. If you cheat, you're an idiot with too many hormones running through your thick head.

At 4:48 am, February 18, 2007, Blogger zzzaaapppme said...

hey belinda!!
Interesting post, and great to read!! I dont think i have cheated once.........I have have cheated loadz of times!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep em coming!!!
Could you check out part 2 of
( The benny gump trilogy ) please
Good work

At 4:32 pm, February 25, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are no exuses for cheating on your partner. if you think other wise have a long hard look at yourself. you should be ashamed.

At 11:53 am, March 13, 2007, Blogger Urkat said...

Bee, whassup? Where have you been. Not like you to be this quiet--haha. Matt


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